Joyce Meyer: How I Finally Escaped My Victim Mentality

by | Apr 4, 2019 | Blogs, Straight Talk

Are you emotionally healthy? It seems there are a lot of people who aren’t, and I used to be one of them. Because I grew up in a very unstable, angry atmosphere and was abused by my father for years, I became a miserable, angry, controlling adult and didn’t know how to have healthy relationships. And until I learned how to grow in my relationship with Christ, I was a mess in my soul.

Many people have wounds in their soul because of things that have happened to them. They’ve been abused or mistreated and it’s caused them to have a victim mentality, to get stuck in self-pity, to have an out-of-control temper or a constant sense of insecurity, and so on.

When we have unhealthy emotions, and the bad behavior that comes as a result of them, we have to get to the root of the issue to fix it.

Matthew 12:33 (ESV) says, “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit.” In other words, where there’s rotten fruit, there’s a rotten root!

Take Responsibility for Your Roots

I remember years ago when I would complain to Dave, saying, “We don’t talk about anything!” Finally, one day Dave said to me, “You know, Joyce, we don’t talk. You talk, and you want me to listen and agree with you.” He was right! Whenever I would share an opinion about something with Dave, if he didn’t agree with me, the fight was on!

We would get into these big arguments, and I would end up so confused, thinking, “I don’t even know what we’re talking about anymore!” The really frustrating thing was I didn’t understand what my problem was, so I just kept blaming it all on Dave.

When we don’t take responsibility for our problems, we blame them on someone or something else. But when I finally got to the point where I was sick and tired of arguing with Dave all the time, I prayed for God to show me what was wrong. He showed me that I had a root of rejection in my soul from the way I was raised, and until that root was dealt with, the fruit (or behavior) in my life would never change.

The Truth About Your Value in God’s Eyes

When you’re afraid of rejection, if people don’t agree with you, you feel rejected by them. So when Dave and I were trying to have a conversation, if he didn’t agree with me, I felt he was rejecting me.

The truth is when Dave had a different opinion, he wasn’t rejecting me; he was rejecting my opinion. And I had to learn to separate who I am from my opinion and trust that whether or not he liked my opinion, he still loved me!

It was a major breakthrough for me to get this revelation. Through this situation I learned how to be a person who is loved and valued by God because of what Jesus has done for me, and to separate my “who” from my “do.” It took some time and I had to be determined to trust God’s Word, which says He loves me unconditionally and nothing can separate me from His love, but eventually, I became secure in knowing who I am in Christ.

So … How’s Your Emotional Health?

I want to ask you again: Are you emotionally healthy? Are you dealing with a root of rejection in your life? Is there a person in your life you can’t talk to without getting upset or losing your temper? When someone disagrees with you, does it make you feel insulted, stupid, rejected or disrespected? If this is you, then you need to know God doesn’t want you to live this way.

In Ephesians 3:17-19, the apostle Paul prayed for the Ephesians: “That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

This is my prayer for you—that you would be planted deep in the knowledge that God loves you unconditionally and know that, while He may not always love everything you do, He always loves you! I also want to encourage you to spend time every day alone with God in prayer and study the Bible. Dig in to Scriptures about the love of God and choose to trust that every one of those promises is for you.

The truth is: You are loved, and you are valuable to God!

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Prophetic Words: End of Year Prophecies to Guide You into 2023

Prophetic Words: End of Year Prophecies to Guide You into 2023

Chris Reed's Prophetic Word Over China: Unprecedented mass protests are unfolding right now across China. The country is seeing the largest pushback in decades, following their "zero COVID strategy" still in place today. China's Communist Party has continued to...

Declaring a Great Awakening Among Prodigals

Declaring a Great Awakening Among Prodigals

Read Time: 1 Minute 23 Seconds It’s a shocking statistic! More than 80 and up to 90% of children who grow up in church are leaving the church once they reach 18. Sadly, only 40% return, according to Focus on the Family. I believe, with prayer, we can defy those...

Bible Verse of the Day, Dec. 8th: Advent Season, Isaiah 11:1-10

Bible Verse of the Day, Dec. 8th: Advent Season, Isaiah 11:1-10

Isaiah 11:1-10 And there shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots. The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and of the...

Marilyn Hickey: God Can Heal Your Emotional Wounds

Marilyn Hickey: God Can Heal Your Emotional Wounds

Read Time: 2 Minutes 2 Seconds Have you ever broken a bone? If so, you know what it’s like to go through a painful healing process. Consider what that might feel like in the spiritual realm. Sometimes we can get broken in various ways in life, but God wants to “set”...

COGIC Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Dies at 65

COGIC Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Dies at 65

Read Time: 1 Minute 59 Seconds Bishop J. Drew Sheard and the General Board of the Eastern Florida Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction of the Church of God in Christ announced Tuesday the death of one of its most beloved leaders, Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Hutchins was 65....

RECENT ARTICLES

Don’t Criticize Charismatics

They are saying the charismatic movement is divisive. Whenever people get involved in the "new emphasis," there are disruptions in the status quo. Red flags go up. Lines are drawn. I would ask: What...
Jonathan Cahn Reveals the Mystery of the Molten Beast

Jonathan Cahn Reveals the Mystery of the Molten Beast

Read Time: 6 Minutes, 42 Seconds Is it possible that ancient entities known as "the gods" have returned to our world? Could these gods actually be the unseen movers and catalysts of what's happening in America and the world today? Could they lie behind the current...

Shining the Light of Jesus in Hollywood’s Darkness

Shining the Light of Jesus in Hollywood’s Darkness

Read Time: 3 Minutes 37 Seconds Most made-for-TV Christmas movies are like eggnog and sugar cookies—way too sweet, yet extremely addictive for a lot of viewers. But these Hallmark-style movies—the ones with predictable love stories that always end with jingling bells...

Prophecy: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Prophecy: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Read Time: 1 Minute 51 Seconds At a recent gathering where a member was struggling, I heard and declared by the Spirit of the Lord, “Goodness is following you, TURN and see; embrace His goodness in this moment and watch the shift!” There was an immediate shift and...

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: You Came From God

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: You Came From God

Read Time: 2 Minutes 25 Seconds If you search the phrase, “where does life come from?” the first explanation reads: “The origin of life is a result of a supernatural event—and readily arises from nonliving matter in short periods of time, today as in the past.” The...

Raise Your Praise!

Raise Your Praise!

These are the days that may leave you feeling defeated. You may be wondering when these present trials will end or how can you strengthen your faith for the battle as you wrestle against powers and principalities that come against you, in addition to the challenges...

Pin It on Pinterest