Ellen Stumbo

In different disability circles, there seems to be a conversation about “preferred language.” For example, many of us parents feel strongly about “people- first language,” and most professionals are taught to use it. However, almost all my friends who have disabilities prefer “identity-first language.” And before you say, “That’s terrible, a person is a person first,” …

Why ‘Disability’ Isn’t a Bad Word Read More »

“Mom, I think you like your computer more than you like your family.” Ellie stood in front of me—and my computer—fists on her hips and waiting for eye contact. “Oh sweetheart, that is not true! Of course I like you better!” I responded defensively. “No mom. You spend more time playing with your computer than …

How One Woman Broke Her Addiction to Social Media Read More »

Did you ever think that you would be where you are right now? Are your circumstances what you expected them to be? Your marriage? Your children? Your career? Or is your life different than expected? When I was a junior in high school, the associate pastor from our church joked with me once and said, …

When Life Turns Out Different Than You Expected Read More »

Moms need friends, and often times play-dates are arranged not only for the kids, but for the moms as well. Even a late night run for pie and decaf coffee can make the busy life of a mom seem a little bit easier. 1. Because loneliness among moms is too common, and it doesn’t need …

10 Reasons Why Moms Need Friends Read More »

This is a hard post to write because it’s a big issue, it’s something I am constantly working on, an ongoing journey that changes along with the needs of my family. This is not a post about parenting kids with disabilities, or about parenting adopted kids who live with the trauma from their past, or …

When Mom Needs Help Read More »

As a special needs parent, I have often wondered if I am doing enough for my child. It doesn’t help when other people in my life seem to have great ideas on how to help my child, or they imply that they would do a better job, or that I’m not doing the best I …

You’re Not Measured by What You Do but by How You Love Read More »

Stephen was stoned to death. He trusted in God completely, even as he was being falsely accused, he trusted in God and he still lost his life. My husband preached about Stephen a few Sundays ago and I’ve been thinking about our own family, our own trials, our own suffering, how certain areas of disability …

Why Trust God When Life Hurts Read More »

I was sitting in the family room watching TV and stroking my pregnant belly when my husband, Andy, walked into the room. Ten minutes before, he had answered a knock at the door. When I looked up and saw his dumbfounded expression, I knew instinctively that something was wrong. “Jennifer has Down syndrome,” he finally …

Why My Child Isn’t a Mistake Read More »

There is a lot of Christmas cheer happening all around, but right now I’m trying to survive. I might not be the Grinch, but I am not spreading great joy either, maybe I need to figure out where I fall on the Grinch scale. At my house, the Christmas tree and decorations come up the weekend …

Keeping the Grinch Out of Your Christmas Read More »

Parenting would be a lot easier if it came with a map, “You start here, you end up here, and this is how you get there.” Simple. Logical. Organized. A road map. But if I’ve learned anything about parenting so far it’s that it’s complicated, sometimes illogical, and definitely messy. Oh, there are so many layers and qualifications …

Confessions of a Parent: I Have No Idea What I’m Doing Read More »

Parenting would be a lot easier if it came with a map: “You start here, you end up here, and this is how you get there.” Simple. Logical. Organized. A road map. But if I’ve learned anything about parenting so far, it is that it’s complicated, sometimes illogical and definitely messy. Oh there are so many layers and …

Confessions of a Christian Parent: I’m a Messy Mom Read More »

My middle daughter, Nina, asked why we didn’t have any of her baby pictures. We adopted Nina shortly before her 4th birthday from Ukraine. When we met with the adoption officials (the SDA) there was a baby picture in her files and they gave us the only baby picture of her there was. But this …

The Tragedy Before Adoption Read More »

There are great churches with great programs, great ministries, and outstanding volunteers. We all love churches like that. But more than what a church has to offer me, what I really want is to feel connected with a group of people, to find a place of belonging, and do life together. A few days ago …

Are You Wearing a Spiritual Mask to Church? Read More »

I don’t know anyone else who falls down as often as my daughter with cerebral palsy does. Yet every time she falls, she gets back up. Even when she gets hurt, she gets back up and keeps on going.   It wasn’t always this way. There was a time when she didn’t believe she could …

How God Speaks Through a Disabled Child Read More »

Someone googled, “Why do some pastors’ wives misbehave” and they found my blog, so I figured I should address a possible why. (And is Google trying to tell me something?) Pastors’ wives misbehave because they are as human as the rest of humanity. Nobody in ministry is exempt from the sinful nature. For all have sinned and …

Why Pastors’ Wives Misbehave Read More »