Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. Articles

The Addiction That No One Wants to Talk About

Many men struggle with sex addictions. But in the United States today, a growing number of women also are falling prey...
Want to Be Sexually Successful?

Want to Be Sexually Successful?

couple-happy-woman-smilingI believe that God wants every Christian man to be sexually successful. He desires all of us to enter into the holy of holies where spirit, soul and body intimacy occurs with your wife on a regular basis. His desire is to equip each one of us with the skills to be spiritually and emotionally intimate outside of the bedroom so that we can be sexually successful inside of the bedroom.

Are you wondering what a sexually successful man is and how you can become one? Let me be perfectly clear. Sex is by far one of God’s best ideas! Don’t you agree? I imagine the Creator could have made procreation a behavior that brought little pleasure and only engaged our bodies, completely detached from the wealth of a soul and spirit experience. What a bummer sex would have been if that were the case.

Thankfully our Maker decided to be very creative con­cerning our sexuality. Not only does your body go through the greatest physiological changes, but when engaging successfully in sex you also experience the highest chemical reward possible for your body.

As a therapist, I have counseled with thousands of men regarding sexuality issues. During this time, I have learned that many men are not sexually successful. I have “clocked in” years of my life listening to men as they share varied stories of their lack of sexual success. These men and their wives want to be sexually successful, but even after several decades of marriage, they have not achieved sexual success.

Want to Be Sexually Successful?

Want to Be Sexually Successful?

I believe that God wants every Christian man to be sexually successful. He desires all of us to enter into the holy of holies where spirit, soul and body intimacy occurs with your wife on a regular basis. His desire is to equip each one of us with the skills to be spiritually and emotionally intimate outside of the bedroom so that we can be sexually successful inside of the bedroom.

Are you wondering what a sexually successful man is and how you can become one? Let me be perfectly clear. Sex is by far one of God’s best ideas! Don’t you agree? I imagine the Creator could have made procreation a behavior that brought little pleasure and only engaged our bodies, completely detached from the wealth of a soul and spirit experience. What a bummer sex would have been if that were the case.

Thankfully our Maker decided to be very creative con­cerning our sexuality. Not only does your body go through the greatest physiological changes, but when engaging successfully in sex you also experience the highest chemical reward possible for your body.

As a therapist, I have counseled with thousands of men regarding sexuality issues. During this time, I have learned that many men are not sexually successful. I have “clocked in” years of my life listening to men as they share varied stories of their lack of sexual success. These men and their wives want to be sexually successful, but even after several decades of marriage, they have not achieved sexual success.

A Clear Head in Bed

A Clear Head in Bed

If you give yourself permission to look, lust or fantasize outside the bedroom, it can make life more difficult inside the bedroom. You may have experienced this during sex with your wife when suddenly you're hit with an extramarital thought, picture or fantasy.What...

Keeping a Pure Mind

Keeping a Pure Mind

Question: Doug, I’m married
and know that 1 Timothy 5:1-2 says, “Treat … older women as mothers,
and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (NIV). But I
struggle with impure thoughts when I’m around women. What is the best
way to keep my mind sexually pure?

Answer:
I recommend a few strategies. One, wear a rubber band on your wrist and
every time you lust at a woman, snap it. This will stop reinforcing
this behavior. Two, memorize some Scriptures on purity so you can
access them when in need. Three, do what 1 Timothy 5:1-2 suggests—view
all women in the context of a relationship.

Is Viagra From God Or the Devil?


Question: I’ve never used Viagra and don’t need to, but I realize that I have an underlying resistance to any drug used for sexual performance. What is your opinion of these kinds of drugs?


Answer:
I think your apprehension to drugs is a very common feeling among Christians. If you don’t need them, praise God and don’t take any! For me, they are like any other medication you would take from a doctor.

I have talked with Christians from all over the country who think medication whether for depression, anxiety or headaches are all of the devil and a “real” Christian wouldn’t take them. For me, the answer is simple and it points to the characters of God and the devil.

Are You Entitled to All The Sex You Want?

 Question: How many times is too much? How many times is not enough?

Answer: Now here is a real guy question. Unfortunately, there’s not a concrete, one-size-fits-all answer. First, let’s deal with entitlement. We are not entitled to all the sex we want.

 

The Many Rewards of a Sexually Successful Brain


QUESTION: Sometimes I want sex with my wife because I’m seeking pleasure, not romance. I feel guilty. Should I?

ANSWER: Well, an honest man! Not every guy is motivated by a deep longing for an emotional encounter every single time he wants sex. The good news is, not every woman is either. Sometimes she just wants to feel the rush of the orgasm you produce for her. God created us to enjoy sex, so that’s just being human.

What If I Have Another Woman on My Mind?


Question: How concerned should I be if I start to think about other women while my wife and I are having sex?

Answer: An intrusive thought every now and then isn’t cause for alarm. During sex, it’s possible for you to have thoughts about nonsexual things as well as thoughts about people. But if these thoughts regularly invade your lovemaking and include beautiful women who talk dirty to you, then you may have a problem.

Your Sexual Legacy

Fathers are ultimately responsible for their sons’ sexual development. It takes more than one talk–it takes honesty, courage and positive role-modeling.

 

Your son looks to you as a model in every area of his life. Have you ever considered whether or not you are modeling healthy sexuality for him?

I have spent countless hours counseling men whose fathers’ sexual role-modeling was either absent or, worse still, destructive. The absent role model never discusses sexuality with his son. He doesn’t know what to say about it, so he says nothing and hopes for the best.

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