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Overcoming Sexual Addiction
by Douglas Weiss, Ph.D.
If you have fallen into this trap of the enemy, what can you do? Here are
some practical steps to getting free.
Sexual addiction is by far the leading addiction in the church today. Yet
many men don't believe--or perhaps aren't willing to admit--that they have a
problem. You can tell you need healing from a sexual addiction if you find
yourself:
* Convinced your behavior has to be secret
* Continually needing more and more of this behavior to be satisfied
* Constantly trying and failing to stop a certain behavior
* Continuing this behavior, knowing that your wife doesn't agree and that it is affecting your relationship with her.
* Continually needing more and more of this behavior to be satisfied
* Constantly trying and failing to stop a certain behavior
* Continuing this behavior, knowing that your wife doesn't agree and that it is affecting your relationship with her.
If this description applies, don't allow the enemy to keep you in bondage.
There are some things you can do to get free.
Acknowledge that you are an addict. No one can help an addict who
lives in denial of his problem and thinks that all guys do this or that. To
recover, you will have to stop lying to yourself.
Remember that our Father in heaven sees all and knows all. He knows your
every thought. He knows you struggle in this area. He has heard every prayer you
have prayed to stop your secret behavior. And He wants you to be free! He will
be with you as you fight this battle.
Become accountable to another man. Addictions, by definition, will
not allow you to recover from them without help. Thinking you can handle this
yourself is the surest way to fail. You are going to need some help to get
better.
I see so many Christian men who are trapped by an addiction try to fix it
themselves. They have memorized 1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, He is
faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness" (NKJV). The problem is that this verse promises forgiveness,
not healing. To address your need for healing from sexual addiction, you need to
turn back a few pages in your Bible to James 5:16:
"Confess your trespasses [sins] to one another, and pray for one another,
that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails
much."
Accountability is a powerful biblical tool for healing. If you want healing
from addiction, you need to be willing to humble yourself to another man and
begin to confess the truth of your sin. Scripture declares that as you confess
to and pray for each other, you will be healed.
You will also receive the grace you need to live a pure life, for God says
in His Word that He "resists the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James
4:6). Until I was willing to humble myself to another man, I was trapped in my
behavior patterns. When I started becoming accountable to another person, I
began to get free.
Join a support group. Support groups are available to assist men in
overcoming all addictions, including sexual addictions. Maybe your excuse for
not attending a support group is that you are rich or famous or that you hold a
prominent position in your community, and you're concerned that you will be
recognized.
But I have counseled men all over the country for many years, and I have
never found one instance in which a trust of anonymity has been broken. These
support groups are full of men who know what you're struggling with and who have
heard it all. They are a safe place for you to begin to heal.
To find a local support group in your area visit our Web site,
www.sexaddict.com.
Adapted from Sex, Men
and God by Douglas Weiss, Ph.D., copyright 2002. Published by Siloam Press. Used
by permission.
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